Glenn Beck's Blues: Why the Far Right Hates Soccer

Every World Cup, it arrives like clockwork. As sure as the ultimate soccer spectacle brings guaranteed adrenaline and agony to fans across the United States, it also drives the right-wing noise machine utterly insane.


“It doesn’t matter how you try to sell it to us,” yipped the Prom King of new right, Glenn Beck. “It doesn’t matter how many celebrities you get, it doesn’t matter how many bars open early, it doesn’t matter how many beer commercials they run, we don’t want the World Cup, we don’t like the World Cup, we don’t like soccer, we want nothing to do with it.”


Beck’s wingnut godfather, G. Gordon Liddy also said on his radio program, “Whatever happened to American exceptionalism? This game … originated with the South American Indians and instead of a ball, they used to use the head, the decapitated head, of an enemy warrior.”


Dear Lord, where do we begin? First of all, I always find it amusing when folks like Beck say, “We don’t like soccer” when it is by far the most popular youth sport in the United States. It’s like saying, “You know what else American kids hate? Ice cream!” Young people love soccer not because of some kind of commie-nazi plot conjured by Saul Alinsky to sap us of our precious juices, but because it’s – heaven forefend - fun.


Among adults, the sport is also growing because people from Latin America, Africa, and the West Indies have brought their love of the beautiful game to an increasingly multicultural United States. As sports journalist Simon Kuper wrote very adroitly in his book Soccer Against the Enemy,  “When we say Americans don’t play soccer we are thinking of the big white people who live in the suburbs. Tens of millions of Hispanic Americans [and other nationalities] do play, and watch and read about soccer.” In other words, Beck rejects soccer because his idealized “real America”  - in all its monochromatic glory – rejects it as well.  To be clear, I know a lot of folks who can’t stand soccer. It’s simply a matter of taste. But for Beck it’s a lot more than, “Gee. It’s kind of boring.” Instead it’s, “Look out whitey! Felipe Melo’s gonna get your mama!”
    

As for Liddy, let’s be clear. There is not in fact hard anthropological evidence that early soccer games were played with a human head.  Interestingly, though, there is an oft-told legend that the sport took root in England in the 8th century because the King’s army playfully kicked around the detached cranium of the conquered Prince of Denmark. Notice that this tall-tale is about Europe not “South American Indians”. I think we’re seeing a theme here.
    

But maybe this isn’t just sports as avatar for their racism and imperial arrogance. Maybe their hysteria lies in something far more shallow. Maybe the real reason they lose their collective minds is simply because the USA tends to get their asses handed to them each and every World Cup. After all, as G. Gordon asked, “Whatever happened to American exceptionalism?” When it comes to the World Cup, the exceptional is found elsewhere. Could Beck, Liddy, and company just have soccer-envy? Is it possible that if the USA was favored to win the World Cup, Beck himself would be in the streets with his own solid gold vuvuzela? I feel that to ask the question is to answer it. In fact, this is as good a reason as any to hope for a mighty run by the US team. It would be high comedy to see Beck and Friends caught in a vice between their patriotic fervor and their nativist fear.            

 

[Dave Zirin is the author of the forthcoming “Bad Sports: How Owners are Ruining the Games we Love” (Scribner) Receive his column every week by emailing dave@edgeofsports.com. Contact him at edgeofsports@gmail.com.]

20 Reader Comments | Add a comment

They don't acknowledge their hypocrisy unfortunately.

Remember what big supporters of the Iraqi national team George W. And his ilk were?

As for the scary Indians and their supposed early soccer, the right wingers should remember something. Next time you criticize a sport for being too violent and militaristic, Take another look at American football.

Soccer is growing in the US

But not with people who watch Glenn Beck. Many kids in the suburbs who play soccer do not go to a MSL game. However as our Hispanic population continues to grow, soccer's ratings and attendance will also grow. It remains to be seen if the rest of us follow.

LOL!

Same ol' talking points from the likes of Beck and Liddy. I tuned them out a long time ago...

Thanks Dave

Thanks for this Dave.

I suspect the real reason that FOOTBALL pains the conservative chatterers is that is an egalitarian sport.

No expensive equipment is required, just a group of kids, a ball and an empty lot. Where are the merchandising opportunities there? I think Basketball (Streetball) has had to suffer the same opprobrium.

Speakinfg of (real) football, there are some interestin things happening in the British Premier League that would probably interest you as a sports reporter:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/blog/2010/jan/12/manchester-united-glazers-debt

or

http://www.epltalk.com/hicks-and-gillett-regime-continue-to-alienate-liverpool-fans/14751

Anyway, thanks from the UK for all your work. Keep speaking it.

"We" are not "Them"

"we don’t want the World Cup, we don’t like the World Cup, we don’t like soccer"

Someone had better tell espn so they can stop wasting their money covering the world cup like an olympics crossed with a presidential race. Seriously though, this is just thinly veiled xenophobia, racism and jingoism, much like 99% of the bile this wannabe demagogue spews. Is soccer in my top five sports to watch? No. Do I get annoyed when I see an egregious dive? Yes (though no more so than when I see derek fisher or pau gasol do it). And yet, every four years I find myself caught up in the infectious passion this event generates. Dave is correct that people of Beck's ilk would be more conflicted if the US were a contender, but one is surprised that even without such status they would refuse an opportunity to wrap themselves in the flag. I guess they only cheerlead for wars.

"We" are not "Them"

"we don’t want the World Cup, we don’t like the World Cup, we don’t like soccer"

Someone had better tell espn so they can stop wasting their money covering the world cup like an olympics crossed with a presidential race. Seriously though, this is just thinly veiled xenophobia, racism and jingoism, much like 99% of the bile this wannabe demagogue spews. Is soccer in my top five sports to watch? No. Do I get annoyed when I see an egregious dive? Yes (though no more so than when I see derek fisher or pau gasol do it). And yet, every four years I find myself caught up in the infectious passion this event generates. Dave is correct that people of Beck's ilk would be more conflicted if the US were a contender, but one is surprised that even without such status they would refuse an opportunity to wrap themselves in the flag. I guess they only cheerlead for wars.

"We" are not "Them"

"we don’t want the World Cup, we don’t like the World Cup, we don’t like soccer"

Someone had better tell espn so they can stop wasting their money covering the world cup like an olympics crossed with a presidential race. Seriously though, this is just thinly veiled xenophobia, racism and jingoism, much like 99% of the bile this wannabe demagogue spews. Is soccer in my top five sports to watch? No. Do I get annoyed when I see an egregious dive? Yes (though no more so than when I see derek fisher or pau gasol do it). And yet, every four years I find myself caught up in the infectious passion this event generates. Dave is correct that people of Beck's ilk would be more conflicted if the US were a contender, but one is surprised that even without such status they would refuse an opportunity to wrap themselves in the flag. I guess they only cheerlead for wars.

"Big white suburban folks don't play soccer" ??

Who knew?
That's certainly news to those of us who went to high school in the New England and mid-Atlantic states, whether it was public or private prep school.

I can assure you that at my high school, both boys and girls soccer teams are a big deal, along with football, field hockey, ice hockey, lacrosse, etc.

And soccer is far more egalitarian than American football in terms of participation and ball-handling. Everybody in soccer gets to handle the ball and run around, whether playing offense or defense. Whereas formal, 11-to-a-side, smash-thy-enemy football can be played with trained gorillas as far as interior linemen and defense players are concerned.

asskicking

Zirin, how have you made it this far in life without having been beaten to death? Seriously, it looks like a group of 5th grade girls would have descended upon you and kicked the brains out of your head just on general principle. Yeah, I'm a racist Republican who hates soccer because of all of the "mud people." Disregard the fact that Emmitt Smith and Albert Pujols are my all-time favorite athletes. Assclown.

Staggeringly Stupid

This is one of the most staggeringly stupid pieces I have ever read. I would expect no less from Zirin. How's that "finding evidence to the contrary" with regard to the fabricated Rush Limbaugh quote going? We need real people with insight and integrity to combat the lunatic right wing. You're no better than the people you slander.

Staggeringly Stupid

This is one of the most staggeringly stupid pieces I have ever read. I would expect no less from Zirin. How's that "finding evidence to the contrary" with regard to the fabricated Rush Limbaugh quote going? We need real people with insight and integrity to combat the lunatic right wing. You're no better than the people you slander.

Nice Piece

You might add the pure economic element: Soccer is an international sport in part because almost anyone can afford to play - you just need a ball. (American) football requires more of an investment. That said, neither sport was invented by "South American Indians," but were developments from games played in medieval Europe, whose contemporary rules were formalized in elite schools in England (soccer) and the U.S. (football). Maybe Mr. Liddy would be more comfortable with Soccer if knew it came from places like Eton?

BTW: Pet peeve - in the U.S., association football is called "soccer", so there's no reason to correct Americans like Zirin for saying "soccer" - they are speaking properly.

cgray has been driven insane!

Guess you're right Dave, soccer drives the right-wing noise machine utterly insane. Judging by cgray's comments above, s/he may well be part of the right wing noise machine.

solid gold vuvuzela

'Is it possible that if the USA was favored to win the World Cup, Beck himself would be in the streets with his own solid gold vuvuzela?'

Christ on a bike! This is the most hilarious line I have read this year anywhere. Many thanks.

the beautiful game

only haters hate it.

Why "Soccer" Isn't Allowed To Succeed In The U.S.

It's meant to be viewed on non-commercial public television. Hence, you don't have play stoppage for the purpose of airing corporate commercials. Sports without play stoppage for the display of broadcast advertising is verboten in the U.S.

This is what is exceptional about professional sports in the U.S. It's driven by professional games that are constantly stopped in the name of airing corporate propaganda. That doesn't happen with association football, and that is why I fell in love with watching the World Cup game back in 1994. It put "soccer" at a competitive disadvantage with other sports in the U.S. because there simply isn't enough time alloted to sell advertising, and also food concessions in the stadium venues.

Uneducated Drivel

I know people of all political leanings, racial and ethnic backgrounds, and economic conditions in this country who hate soccer. I'm sorry it's a boring sport, deal with it. Way too much flopping, acting, whining, and too little action. To insinuate that hatred of soccer in this country is somehow related to racism is literally the stupidest thing I have ever heard. Game 7 of the NBA Finals will blow out the TV ratings for any World Cup game in the United States, and every single player on the floor tonight will be African American except for 2. The NFL is almost 50 percent African American and MLB has a large percentage of Hispanics. People in this country don't care for soccer because it is boring, played by European pussies who flop too much, and Communists. I would rather grass grow than watch 90 minutes kick, pass, kick, pass, run towards the goal, kick, pass, kick, pass, shoot, kick, pass, kick, pass. But, I guess that makes me a Glenn Beck-loving racist, right? It literally infuriates me that someone as moronic as you gets paid to write about sports and people actually take your opinion seriously you stupid chooch!!!!

Re: Uneducated Drivel

Just FYI on the ratings of NBA finals vs the World Cup

The opening game of the US vs England drew 16.8million viewers which was higher than the first 4 games of the NBA finals. Games 5 and 6 had higher ratings, but the average viewership of the NBA finals has been 16.1 million.

Considering that the NBA games are played during prime time and the World Cup is played in the afternoon, the fact that the world cup is even in the same ball park is a huge win for soccer in the US.

Now think about what the ratings would be like if the US was considered a favourite, or if the US made it deep into the elimination round. It would be the World Cup blowing the NBA out of the water.

Re: Re: Uneducated Drivel

True, but my argument to that point is that the World Cup happens once every four years while the NBA Finals happens yearly. Not to mention, this was USA vs. England, a highly anticipated match up. I highly doubt we will get 16.8 million rating for USA vs. Slovenia or vs. Algeria, not to mention for the WC final if the US is not playing. I would rank US sports (excluding NASCAR which is not a sport) in order of popularity as follows: 1. NFL 2. NCAA Football 3. NCAA Basketball 4. MLB 5. NBA 6. NHL . I just don't see soccer as ever even eclipsing hockey in this country, not gonna happen.

I'm just not sure

I agree totally that Beck and Liddy say a lot of things that are racist and I have no problem with the notion that a certain imperial mindset informs their thoughts on soccer. However, I'm not convinced by your argument that because of youth soccer's popularity we as Americans really do like soccer.

The fact is that it's not on television. I don't honestly know anybody that's really excited by MLS games. I think Beckem certainly breathed in some life for a minute, but I don't see any sign that we are about to become a country that watches soccer the way we watch football or basketball.

My personal favorite take on the popularity of youth soccer is Chuck Klosterman's point that if you're not athletic you could sort of hide from the ball when you played soccer, but there was no hiding from anything when you airballed a free throw or struck out on 3 pitches.

So yeah, Beck and Liddy are nationalistic simpletons, but soccer's lack of popularity, in my opinion, can't simply be explained by racism.

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Dave Zirin is the author of the book: "Welcome to the Terrordome: The Pain, Politics and Promise of Sports" (Haymarket). You can receive his column Edge of Sports, every week by going to dave@edgeofsports.com.
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