Amongst the Slime: Rocket Roger Comes to Congress
Representative Tom Lantos, Democrat of California, died this week at the age of 80. We remember Lantos for many things – not all of them admirable - but we remember him today as the man who gazed at the very first of these idiotic steroid hearings in 2005, and called it "a theater of the absurd." Roger Clemens's face-off with Congress Wednesday officially moved the discussion beyond the absurd and placed it squarely in Bush Country.
Before we discuss one word of Wednesday’s tax-funded idiocy at Rep. Henry Waxman's House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform, let's concede that there are only about 1,500 ways that the committee's time could be better spent. They could be asking why the Bush Administration is so keen on bugging our phones, granting no-bid contracts to Dick Cheney's oily pals or why they're underfunding the Veterans Administration. Hell, they could subpoena Bush on how he got that weird black eye a few years back. Anything but this.
Virginia Republican Rep.Tom Davis--the guy with the pumpkin-colored hair--defended the idea of steroid hearings last month, saying, "This is one of the few things in a partisan, polarized town that the Republicans and Democrats are on the same page. It isn't on the budget or Iraq. But you've got to start somewhere."
Yet the anabolic circus was an absolute parade of partisanship. The positions of lawmakers on the dais seemed as hardened as those testifying. Clemens, under oath, declared that he had never taken steroids or human growth hormones. His ex-trainer Brian McNamee, a former cop, swears he did. So one person was lying, one was telling the truth, yet both presented to the camera fidgety faces of squirmy deceit. And we ask again, who cares? If steroid use is against the law, then let’s see them in court. Why are members of Congress so intently focused on whether abscesses on an All-Star ass could lead to a better earned-run average?
But the partisan lineup of majority Democrats going after Clemens and Republicans after McNamee made for bizarre political theater. While Democrats were calling Clemens a liar, Republicans like Chris Shays were shouting that McNamee was, of all things, trading in controlled substances. "You deal drugs!" the Congressman said. Yes, Chris. That's usually who testifies in drug cases.
The low point was when Massachusetts Democrat Rep. Stephen Lynch questioned Clemens repeatedly about his anabolic tush abscesses, and Virginia’s Davis said angrily, “That gives new meaning to the term lynching.” If only Davis worked for the Golf Channel instead of Congress: he’d be looking for a job.
The question is why the partisan buffoonery. Clemens is a Republican with long-standing ties to the Bush family. During his testimony, Rocket Roger invoked some strange words of encouragement--"Stay high and keep my head up"--that the syntactically challenged George Herbert Walker Bush once gave him. Not the best choice of words at a hearing about drugs.
And the Bush patronage is likely to continue, even if Clemens eventually is charged with perjury as a result of his testimony. McNamee's lawyer Richard Emery today predicted a pardon from Bush the Younger: "It would be the easiest thing in the world for George W. Bush, given the corrupt proclivities of his administration to say Roger Clemens is an American hero, Roger Clemens helped children," Emery told the Associated Press. "It's my belief they have some reason to believe they can get a pardon."
Clemens is also bosom buddies his former boss, Houston Astros owner Drayton McClane, who has given hundreds of thousands of dollars to various Republican candidates. He is also tight Rangers owner Tom Hicks, the former chair of the Giuliani for President campaign. (There’s one for the resume).
Another priceless moment was when Clemens was taken to task on his blithe assertion that he hadn't used steroids, only B-12. Rep. Bruce Braley asked him if he had an approved medical reason for taking B-12, if he had been diagnosed with anemia, senile dementia or Alzheimer's, or whether he was a vegetarian or a vegan. The word "vegan" threw Clemens for a big loop. "I don't know what that is," Clemens replied. "I'm sorry." Roger’s idea of eating greens seems to end with moldy bread and lime jello.
He then, clearly getting a jump on Valentine’s Day, blamed his wife for keeping B-12 around the house to buff up for her appearance in the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue. But that wasn’t enough. Clemens also tossed dear old mom under the bus as well, saying. "My mother in 1988 suggested I take B-12," Clemens said. "I always assumed it was a good thing, not a bad thing."
Sounds like what a lot of people thought when the Democrats took over Congress.
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That was the bomb. You know Roger is a closet vegan, though!
Clemens is priceless. Doesn't know what a vegan is?!?! Million dollar idiot.
on steroids? Between him being an exercise freak and a foreign policy that looks like an expression of 'roid rage, maybe we should hold hearings on that too.
Meanwhile what a farce if Bush granted Clemens "clemens-cy." (Not that I think Clemens conducted any crime. Aside from throwing his pretty-hot-for-plus-forty wife under the bus. Even if he doesn't know what a vegan, which I am, is.)
An excellent piece, as per usual. The new site is hott. I wonder how many vegans read E of S each week. Count me as another one.
The thing that strikes me about Clemens is how he's a poster child for the arrogant, white male power structure that uses their privileged status as a "get out of jail free" card. The smugness is nauseating. No one has ever held Clemens accountable -- as long as he's getting batters out, and now he doesn't even have to do that. And another thing, why is Barry Bonds getting a grand jury but not Clemens? Gee, I can't imagine . . .
Nice work, Dave -- thanks for the chance to vent! :>)
Who would have known that the Congress held votes on torture and immunity for telephone companies with all this going on. Priorities?
I'm only a vegetarian, but I knew there was always a reason I didn't like Clemens...
If they want to hold real hearings..either open hearings on information that Sibel Edmonds (60 minutes/Lost in Translation) has gathered as a tranlations expert..about "Washington insiders" selling our nuclear weapons on the black market to Turkey and other countries..believe thats called treasonor how about hearings of impeachment...
the steroid thing is phoney inside out, top to bottom. I heard an NFL football player with an injured shoulder say in a tv interview that he would play, but he would just get the shoulder "shot up" what's the diff?
It's OBVIOUS that many football players are on the roids. No amount of special diet, or (drug free) lifting weights accounts for the size, strength speed, stamina, etc of these players.
Nor do the fans, or punditocracy really care, witness the excitement over the "hits" by someone who is described as a "beast"
...totally takes the credibility away from Clemens's claims about his work-out regimen, vitamin supplementation, and strict dietary practice. In all those years of training "the right way", how can he have never even the heard the word "Vegan"?
Bud Selig, the former team owner-turned-commish, allowed a world series to be canceled, called an all star game before it was completed also presided over the entire steroid era of Baseball. Sacking an independent Commissioner so that the owners of the teams could monitor themselves will prove to be the undoing of MLB.
It is very disappointing to find out that all of the modern records set by players was done by cheating.
It should be recognized that Bud Selig and the wealthy owners chose to ignore the cheating and become as corrupt as the Bush administration with the same ultimate results.
When these congressmen look back on their time in washington most of them will not be able to say that a piece of legislation that they worked on, which actually passed, actually positively impacted the lives of their countrymen. But at least they will be able to say that they defended the purity and sanctity of baseball by setting that clemens guy straight. Now thats leaving a legacy.
Roger Clemens may have won five Cy Young awards. He may have had the best ERA of any modern pitcher. But when the money was on the line in a playoff game - he choked.
Roger Clemens is all hat and no cattle. He's all about himself and nothing but himself. The guy didn't even stand by his friend Andy Petit when it was reported that Petit took steriods as well.
There is a reason that Reggie Jackson is called Mr. October - he's a money player. When the money was on the line - he came through.
So let Congress go through their meaningless exercise in stupidity. All real baseball fans know the real truth that Roger Clemens is loser and is a lower life form than baseball gambler Pete Rose.
p.s. I'll take "The Boomer" over "The Rocket" any day. When did "The Rocket" have a no-hit game, anyway?
Dave has zealously defended Barry Bonds before, and was complimentary towards Roger in an earlier post. Mr. Zirin is generally honorable and entertaining, but on this issue he whiffs over and over.
This was a great chance for America to see its own home-grown corruption, and Zirin has a problem with that? To see multi-millionaire corporate Christian athletes lying and sweating, and hack Republican politicians snarling like moronic beasts - that wasn't quite what you wanted? Come on, IPED's (illegal performance-enhancing drugs) are all over professional sports, as part of its logical corruption, and it is one vast criminal conspiracy that protects its use, especially in the NFL, as Mark states. Athletes that are paid by the vast corporate criminal conspiracy of Bob Kraft, Mark Cuban, sponsors, doctors, and thousands of elite others are not worthy of any sympathy - which is why it must be hard to be as smart as Steve Nash and Etan Thomas but working in such slime.
Honestly, I watched that hearing and found myself laughing the whole time. From Clemens and his stuttering replies to direct questioning to members of the hearing taking time to suck up to The Rocket on camera. The US Army is about to shoot down a Russian satellite and potentially re-ignite the arms race but Congress wants to talk about baseball and whether or not someone taped a Rams walk through 6 years ago.
Before reading Dave's piece, I read this one by Scott Ritter.
http://www.antiwar.com/orig/ritter.php?articleid=12370
The collusion between baseball owners and congress to assist in distracting Americans from the real issues affecting the American people is the real crime here.
Henry Waxman, and I'm from SoCal, has outlived his political. If ever a candidate for term limits, he is it.
As a baseball (i.e. Brooklyn Dodgers) fan and former ballet dancer, I wonder why George Balanchine was never brought up on charges for forcing dancers to starve ourselves - sometimes to death. And the current trend of "trash/poverty beauty" is as damaging as any steroids.
I neither defend nor excuse steroids. But the money-ball game that baseball has be come is pretty disgusting. And needs to be looked at as a contributing source.
Thanks
Plenty of other issues need addressed, but steroids in baseball gets top billing. HMMMM.....
I agree, these hearings were indeed pointless (unless you're a pol in need of face-time) and perverse. It should be noted, however, that Waxman's committee has been involved with some serious and important investigations since the Democrats gained control of the House. These included: the Tillman killing, Blackwater, FEMA, and waste, fraud, and abuse in Iraq, and political pressure to alter climate science reports.
I listen to Dave on WBAI-FM in New York City - so I was glad to start reading him here as well. About steroids... doesn't this demonstrate the inherent evil of "sport" - it's not athletic, it's competitive, the players are commodities. And just as you can chemically add and subtract from a commodity, you can do the same to a player. It's why the only "sports" I watch are my nephews' soccer games. I can't imagine spending money to watch people PAID to play a game.
...can't we go back to the glory of the late 70's- early 80s....
the sanity of cocaine and booze amongst ball players... /sarcasm.
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Dave Zirin is the author of the book: "Welcome to the Terrordome: The Pain, Politics and Promise of Sports" (Haymarket). You can receive his column Edge of Sports, every week by
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